Without You: How 70s Top 40 Radio Eerily Predicted US-Taiwan Relations

Harry Nilsson “Without You.”

Important men with big sideburns, wide lapels and fat-knotted polyester ties swaggered through the frosty February air in 1972 America. Harry Nilsson’s #1 hit “Without You” trumpeted from radios across the country as the not yet disgraced Richard Nixon, Henry Kissinger and entourage boarded a flight to Beijing for Tricky Dick’s self-proclaimed “week that changed the world.”

In Nilsson’s paean to ultimate, life-ending loss he cries, “I can’t live, if living is without you. I can’t live, I can’t give anymore.” As the success of Nixon’s mission necessarily portended the failure of Formosa’s marriage to America, many may have thought Harry was singing Taiwan’s swan song. But determined members of the American Chamber of Commerce in Taipei (AmCham) were crooning a different tune, Al Green’s then #4, “Leeeeeet’s, let’s stay together….”

Al Green “Let’s Stay Together.”

AmCham was founded in 1951 with a mission to improve the business environment while serving as a vital bridge between the U.S. and Taiwan and has since grown to more than approximately 1,000 members representing over 500 companies across a diverse array of sectors. When Taiwan was “Free China” and Beijing was “Red China,” that mission was a much simpler task. As the only girl at the dance, Taiwan had Washington’s undivided attention for the first 20+ years of AmCham’s efforts. Then came Nixon and Mao signing the Shanghai Communique which could easily have been the beginning of the end.

Nixon & Chou En-lai at Shanghai Airport.

Not one to let the interests of anyone but the U.S. get in the way of signing a sweeping policy document, Kissinger employed what had become his key negotiation tactic of “Constructive Ambiguity” which deliberately left Taiwan in limbo. While the U.S. acknowledged the One China policy then espoused by the governments on both sides of the Taiwan Strait without endorsing the mainland’s version and agreed to cut back military installations on Taiwan, the document stated the U.S.’s interest in a “peaceful settlement of the Taiwan question” with the details to be decided at a later date. Much later in fact.

Fast forward 7 years to the Carter administration and its Joint Communique on Diplomatic Relations with China. Released on December 15, 1978 and effective January 1, 1979, it officially began relations with China while officially ending relations with Taiwan. Regarding the divorce from Taiwan, the document stated the U.S. “will maintain cultural, commercial, and other unofficial relations with the people of Taiwan.” Easy to say but harder to do. And if Taiwan and its expats were caught flat-footed, they could easily have come up short.

Carter & Deng Xiaping at the signing ceremony.

So we can all be thankful that “Be Prepared!” was the motto AmCham’s Chairman Robert P. Parker took to heart as a Cub Scout, Boy Scout, Explorer Scout, and Air Explorer. Much to the benefit of both Taiwan and the U.S., he and former Chairman Marinus “Dutch” Van Gessel had already been deeply enmeshed in plumbing the parameters of a comprehensive solution the whole time. But it seemed his outreach fell on deaf ears. “A number of the pragmatic problems that would inevitably arise from normalization were anticipated by our Chamber several years before,” said Parker, “And for at least three years we had been proposing a series of specific questions to the Administration – to the White House, to the national security advisor, to the secretaries of state, to the Taiwan desk officers – and we never received a responsive answer.”

Parker was told that Washington would craft an Omnibus Bill to address the issues of the new relationship. Typically created for tying together several unrelated and diverse issues to pass on a single vote, Omnibus Bills are often ten pounds of manure in a five-pound bag and rarely fully address the issues they’re assigned to solve. As Parker saw, this one was no exception, “Once we got it in hand, we found out that from the standpoint of private interests, business interests between the United States and Taiwan, its language was ambiguous, its approach frequently naïve, and it was wholly inadequate to meet the needs of the ongoing commercial and trade relationship between the United States and Taiwan.”

It was then Parker earned the sobriquet of the “Underground Ambassador” when he went to Washington to testify at hearings conducted by the Senate Foreign Relations Committee and House Foreign Affairs Committee. Under Parker’s and other leaders’ assault, the Carter Administration’s proposed bill was scrapped by Congress in favor of the Taiwan Relations Act, formed largely on AmCham’s specific proposals.

Dutch van Gessel (left) and Robert Parker (center) from AmCham meet with Premier Y.S. Sun on problems posed by the change in the U.S.-Taiwan relationship.

In a nutshell, the TRA successfully assures the security, defense and legal status of Taiwan in its new relationship with the U.S. but Parker and Van Gessel didn’t stop there. Realizing the importance of the social institutions functioning in the expat community, they knew their work was incomplete until they did their best to shore those up as well. So they continued their labors until Taipei American School, English Language Radio (ICRT), Taipei Youth Programs (TYPA) & The American Club in China (ACC ) were all safe and sound as well.

So it was through years of hard work and proactive efforts of AmCham that the crisis of the American government “derecognizing” Taiwan became a crisis largely averted. Sure, things weren’t as wonderful as before Nixon’s trip to China but we all realize now, especially when we see recent events in Hong Kong, that they could have ended up much worse.

Gloria Gaynor “I Will Survive”

In March of 1979 the U.S. embassy in Taiwan shut its doors forever succeeded by the American Institute in Taiwan at the same time that Taiwan opened the Washington office of Coordination Council for North American Affairs. The Taiwan Relations Act was finally signed into law one month later in April when the number one song on the Billboard Hot 100 was Gloria Gaynor’s “I Will Survive,” which seems to have become Taiwan’s theme song.

It’s a Slippery Slope to Going Native in Taiwan

How Far Will You Slide?

No matter how actively you choose to assimilate, arriving in Taiwan was the start of a journey from cultural and physical chaos to a new equilibrium, a new you. Whether you merely rub elbows with the culture as you go about your daily life or jump headfirst into the deep end, the following is a loving yet slightly sardonic guide to three stages of “going native.”

The Weather: Wet Behind The Ears & Everywhere Else

STAGE 1: Even after taking three showers a day and dashing from one air-conditioned area to another, you are soaked in sweat. And parts of your body are itching that never itched back home.

STAGE 2: You’ve become the arch nemesis of body dampness, highly skilled at banishing it through careful attention to personal tidiness and the deft use of talcum powder. You change clothes frequently and your seasonal wardrobe evolves on a parallel path.

STAGE 3: 60 degrees Fahrenheit feels like the North Pole but you stay comfy in your puffy jacket and winter flip-flops.

Stinky Tofu: Dirty Diaper Dining

STAGE 1: The first time it’s served near you in a restaurant, your kid remarks “Somebody needs a diaper change.” You vow that stinky tofu smells like nothing you would ever let anywhere near your mouth.

STAGE 2: You finally get drunk enough to try it and….hey, it’s not bad. It actually does taste kind of “rich & creamy.”

STAGE 3: You argue with your Taiwanese friends about which night market stalls serve the tastiest and stenchiest. You follow up with appropriate pilgrimages and compare notes.

The Insects: What’s Bugging You?

STAGE 1: Large, aggressive insects and arachnids seem bent on your torture and destruction. They hide in your shoes, they lurk in the shadows, they leap from the dark. You are afraid.

STAGE 2: Only spiders about the size of an NBA player’s outstretched hand give you the shivers now. You have learned to leave them be in the hope that they will hunt and devour the giant flying cockroaches.

STAGE 3: Venomous centipedes have really thick skin, you muse after the third bash at an 8-inch long specimen with a rolled-up magazine. As it rebounds back to crawling towards your bare feet, you swat it a fourth time, yawn and go back to watching TV.

Scooters: The Beehive and the Baseball Bat

STAGE 1: Stoplight scooter traffic in Taipei reminds you of the second grade when you dared Billy Jones to swat a beehive with a baseball bat. You’re sure even venturing into the street on foot will end in a deadly or horribly disfiguring accident.

STAGE 2: You realize scooters are a fast, efficient form of urban transport in Taipei but you ride one like a grandma with groceries. As young men weave dangerously past, you yell, “See you at the wheelchair basketball tournament!”

STAGE 3: Travelling at 60 km/h you are passed by a scooter laden with two adults, two children and a week’s worth of groceries. You wonder why they left their dog at home because you can see exactly where it would fit.

Other Foreigners: If Looks Could Kill

STAGE 1: As a sweaty, dehydrated mess, riddled with salt stains, you gaze at any other foreigner like they’re a life-raft and you’re being circled by sharks. Even if you have no immediate distress with which they can help, just a nod of recognition from them can lift your culture-shocked soul. You notice some look the other way and walk more quickly.

STAGE 2: You find the walking-train-wreck-newbies a little embarrassing so you look away and hope they don’t notice you. They can really throw a flaming monkey wrench into your cool new “I’m now comfortable living here” persona.

STAGE 3: When you see an obvious new arrival looking befuddled, you walk up to him/her with a big, stupid smile on your face and offer to help.

Typhoons: Just Like Hurricanes Only Different

STAGE 1: Your first typhoon rivals prom night in suspense and tension. You study the storm route predictions and prepare for rain-soaked, windswept Armageddon. Then it veers off toward Philippines or Japan just grazing Taiwan and you’re disappointed.

STAGE 2: You under-prepare for a big one and find yourself without water or power for days. After six hours of Jenga by candlelight with your family, you check into a hotel to wait it out.

STAGE 3: Not only do you prepare properly but you look forward to typhoons because it means you might get a day off work

Earthquakes: You’re In Love, You’re all Shook Up

STAGE 1: Growing up in a non-earthquake prone part of the world, you base your concept of physical reality on certain immutable facts, like gravity makes things fall, light is warm, dark is cold, and the ground does not move. So at the slightest seismic shiver, terror grips your spine.

STAGE 2: You become accustomed to small to medium tremors and enjoy researching their epicenters and data online. It’s fun, like being an armchair storm-chaser.

STAGE 3: You leverage the unavoidable arrival of the next big earthquake as a good to reason to have another drink, put things off, miss deadlines, not wash your car, etc. Why bother when we could all suddenly perish in the big one?

Taiwan: NOT Thailand

Remember when you announced your decision to move and friends thought you said Thailand? And how they exclaimed you’re so “brave” (when what they meant was “crazy”) to move halfway around the world? Well, thanks to living here, you’re a different person today than you were yesterday and you’ll be a new one tomorrow. This evolution is catalyzed when the culture surrounding you is different than the one in which you were born. Because, as a human being, you’re prone to social harmony and adaptation like the rest of us.

But the question remains – how far will you slide?

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This is Your Mind…(How I Learned to Shut Up and Scrub the Toilet)

 “I think this silence thing is getting to me,” I said. It was two days into my seven-day silent meditation retreat at Dharma Drum Mountain’s sprawling campus nestled in the beautiful mountains of the Jinshan District on Taiwan’s scenic north coast. Zarko Andricevic, Dharma Teacher for the retreat and a direct Dharma Heir of the DDM founder Master Shen Yeng sat before me, backlit by two windows streaming sunshine on each side. His stark silhouette, face wreathed in shadow imparted a mystical presence.

Dharm Drum Mountain Founder Master Sheng Yen

I explained to him that I’m a very verbal person. Deprived of conversation, my mind runs on overdrive – imagining everyone’s lives from their appearance and behavior, inventing entire life stories, a myriad of thoughts and ideas and images popping into my head. “What can I do about that?” Zarko leaned forward, his face half emerged from the shadows, he furrowed his brow and said in a deep, resounding voice,“Congratulations. This is your mind. Your job here is to learn how to deal with it.”

DDM Campus in Northern Taiwan

Five months earlier a friend had told me about the retreat at DDM to be done in English and Chinese. As a morning meditator, I had been chomping at the bit for a deeper experience but my poor Chinese skills had prevented me from doing so in Taiwan. I was living just minutes away from one of the best known Buddhist organizations on the planet with 58 affiliates around the world and my lack of language skills kept me from taking advantage of this precious resource. Finally, this bi-lingual retreat would afford me a chance to dive into an infinitely deep pool.

I admit I was concerned about the magnitude. I’ve been to weekend retreats but never seven days of such intensity – hours of daily meditation, work practice, eating and walking in silence. It was intimidating to say the least.

The bus picked us up at Taipei Main Station on Sunday at noon. The sky gloriously blue, dotted with puffy marshmallow clouds on the drive to the coast. Check-in was easy and the air of anticipation was palpable among over 130 excited participants. The entire event was contained in a single building. Living quarters, meditation hall, dining hall and outdoor trails for walking meditation.

Entrance to the Dharma Drum Mountain Campus.
Walking meditation paths at DDM follow this beautiful stream.

At orientation they outlined the daily schedule:
4:00 Wake up, stretching, meditation, Morning Service
6:40 Breakfast, free time
8:30 Meditation, Dharma Talk from Zarko, walking meditation, private interviews
11:30 Lunch, work practice
13:30 Meditation, walking meditation
17:00 Dinner, free time
18:30 Meditation, Dharma Talk from Zarko, Evening Service
22:00 Lights out

Average days were 4-5 hours of sitting meditation. That’s a lot of time spent on a cushion doing nothing, which is exactly what you’re instructed to do in their “Silent Illumination” technique. You train your awareness on “Just Sitting”. Thoughts, physical sensations, sounds and other things may arise but when your mind wanders, you return to just sitting, aware of your body sitting in the space for 40 minutes at a time.

The Chan Hall where we held our meditation sessions.

Paraphrasing Master Shen Yeng himself in his book “The Method of No Method”, you view distractions as you would clouds in the sky, merely observe them as they come and go of their own accord. Some days the sky is sunny, some days dark and stormy but you know there is always a blue sky behind the clouds. Easy in theory, harder in practice but definitely a worthy pursuit. The meditation hall where the sessions were held is pristine, austere, inspiring and beautiful with a large, elegantly rendered Buddha statue.

Meals, eaten in silence except for affirmations of gratitude for their source and preparation spoken in unison, consisted of a delicious and healthy vegan buffet. Always rice, 2-3 entrees, soup and fruit. You’re assigned two bowls, chopsticks and a cloth for cleaning up. When you’ve eaten your fill, you pour a small amount of hot water into each, swirl it around and drink it. Now you’re ready to wipe your bowls clean and put them back in their assigned place in an orderly manner.

I was excited to receive my personal work assignment with visions of chopping wood, carrying water and maybe raking the gravel in a rock garden. Instead I was assigned to clean the 15 urinals and 3 toilets in the men’s restroom. Though a bit crestfallen, I did my best to do it mindfully every day. Knowing we were all on a vegan, high-fiber diet, I eyed everyone entering the restroom with suspicion. “Keep it clean!” I projected in their direction. Sometimes they did. Sometimes they didn’t.

Morning and evening services were a glorious departure from maintaining the silence and quickly became one of my favorite activities. We weren’t allowed to talk but boy did we enjoy chanting for the 30 minutes. In the expansive, high-ceilinged meditation hall 130 voices soared nearly as high as our spirits. It always left me tingly, charged up and ready to hit my meditation cushion in earnest.

In his first Dharma Talk, Zarko said a 3-day retreat is actually more difficult than a 7-day retreat because it takes 3 days to get settled and then it’s over. I found it hard to believe as 7 days sounded a lot more difficult. It turned out to be true. In fact 5 days into this retreat I became so comfortable that I forgot what day it was. It turned out that my mind did calm down considerably and I even found myself “just sitting” a few times.

At times, I couldn’t wait for it to finish but when it finally ended, I was sad it was over and now I can’t wait to do it again. Dharma Drum Mountain is holding another bi-lingual retreat March 2-March 9,2019. The retreat is free of charge but they gratefully accept donations. The deadline to apply is February 2nd. Submit your application at http://onlinereg.ddm.org.tw/2019_bilingual_retreat.I hope to see you there.

Dharma Drum Mountain Buddhist Association

Without Scout

I was in the bathtub enjoying a hot soak, eating Granny Smith Apples and finishing off the second of a six-pack of Guiness. I had just returned from my first “century” – a 100 mile bike ride and that was what I craved. As my aching muscles slowly relaxed in the steamy soup, my wife sat on the closed toilet seat raving about the puppy.

We had gotten our first dog together on a whim nearly a year earlier. He was a Jack Russell we named Jake. Jake didn’t mind being cold, wet or hungry, he just hated being alone. Each day when we returned from work, he demanded the 8 hours of attention that he didn’t get while we were gone. It started to seem like a second job in and of itself.

So we had the bright idea of getting him a buddy, another dog to keep him company thus began a rather quirky quest. Jake’s breeder said she wouldn’t have any puppies available for 6 months so we started contacting other Jack Russell breeders. They all turned out to be kind of weird. They had houses full of bouncy, yappy little dogs and wore homemade t-shirts with “I Heart My JR” captions over pictures of their loved ones. One guy swore to me that his dog could talk although what came out of his hairy progeny’s mouth didn’t sound anything like “I love you” to me. The only things missing were the tinfoil hats and UFO abductions.

With the breeders too strange and their dogs too annoying, we had demurred on the addition to our family. In the midst of our stalemate, Jake’s breeder reached out. A customer had returned a puppy. An elderly couple had purchased a young female, encountered some health problems and could not now give her the attention and exercise the breed demands. My wife had gone to inspect but not purchase the dog since we had agreed it would be a mutual decision and I had been busy that day riding my bike 100 miles. The plan was to go together for another look at the puppy after I finished my soak.

“She’s so cute. I think you’re really going to love her. She came right up to me and sat in my lap immediately. Will you be done soon so we can go see?” I had absolutely no interest in getting out of the tub for at least an hour since I still had a nearly full bag of fruit and four more Guiness to drink. What’s the point of riding so far if you can’t get drunk and eat apples in the tub?

“Why don’t you just go get her?”

“Really? You don’t want to see her first?”

“Nah. I trust your judgement. Go pick her up. I’ll be right here when you get back.”

“I just know you’re going love her.” She said, bouncing to her feet.

“What’s her name, by the way?”

“They named her Meadow.”

“Dumb name.”

“I want to call her Scout after the hero of my favorite novel To Kill a Mockingbird.”

“Great, let’s name her Scout.”

Within an hour we had a new family member. Turns out she was just as cute as my wife had described. And we got a discount since she was already 4 months old.

Scout turned out to be the perfect companion for Jake. She could be just as frisky and they played together for hours but she definitely had her own personality. Jake loved to chase and catch Frisbees but Scout seemed to derive her pleasure from playing defense. I launched it high and long, Jake would zoom out into the field, prance on his hind legs waiting for it to descend and Scout’s method was to bump him just before he leapt so he would miss the catch. This never got boring for either of them.

Jake liked attention but Scout was a rampant lapdog. Call it a stereotype but I like to think she got her softer side because she was female. As long as you were willing to pat, pet or stroke her she would snuggle in your lap for days. Didn’t matter whether you were a stranger or family member. Scout loved you if you even showed a hint of loving her. For as long as you could stand it.

With Becky and I both training for marathons, Jake and Scout got an inordinate amount of exercise. Mornings with me and afternoons with her, an average total of 15 – 20 miles a day but they never complained. No matter what the season or weather conditions all we had to do was pick up the leashes and they would snap to attention. Through pouring rain that turned hiking trails into streams or deep, wet April snow up to their bellies with a frozen crust on the surface so they had to hop like bunnies they never failed to answer the call of the trails.

Where Jake was an impulsive, bounding ball of energy, Scout was more patient and thoughtful and thus a better hunter. She saw opportunities that Jake missed. Once the three of us discovered a mouse in the basement. The dark gray rodent skittered across the concrete floor and Jake the white blur took chase. From one side to the other, zig-zagging around the furnace and water heater the chase went on but Scout sat right at my heel, keenly aware of the scene. After several passes back and forth, the mouse passed in front of her and she pounced in a short, efficient movement, scooped it up in her mouth and bit down. The mouse squeaked and fell out dead at my feet as Scout trotted away. Jake was confused. Hadn’t he done all the hard work? It wasn’t fair that Scout got to do the killing. But she just turned out to be better at it.

When we lived a quarter of a mile away from a country club golf course, that was our spot for morning runs. Cart paths for me and lots of open hills and streams for the dogs. I must confess they occasionally crapped on the greens but hey, don’t they pay people to pick that shit up? Gotta keep’em busy.

It was a particularly early morning of a heavy snowfall and I couldn’t really see the little white dogs in the white fields. Scout stood out more because she had a black patch and I made her out to be grabbing something on the ground and shaking her head. When I got closer I saw it was a rat, writhing in its death throes. She had grabbed it and broken its neck with that shake.

When I arrived home I wiped the dogs’ feet and bellies and they bounded up to jump on our bed and say good morning to my wife by licking her face. I yelled up the stairway, “Becky, don’t let Scout lick your face!”

“Too late, why?”

“She had a rat in her mouth.”

“And you let her lick my face before you told me?”

“But it’s not like it was a filthy alley rat. It was a country club rat. They’re cleaner.” It seemed little consolation.

Not only was Scout a killer, she was an endlessly patient stalker. And a starer of squirrels. After chasing the little tree rats to their arbor refuge she would sit and stare at them for hours as if she was willing the squirrel into her jaws. It took a tug on her collar to get a reaction.

And Scout was an escape artist. Every time she got out of the back yard at our first house, it would take me at least a week to find out how she did it and repair the fence. But every time I repaired, she eventually found another route. When I finally kept her in the yard as she could find no more avenues of escape, we sold the house and moved to another with no fence and acres of woods behind it.

Now Scout has gone on to that great backyard in the sky. She had 17 years of life on this planet filled with snuggles within our home and romping through the woods outside it. Our sons – now 10 & 12 – grew up with Scout and Jake. They never knew a day of their lives without them.

They say that until you have children, your dogs are your kids. And then after you have children, your dogs are just dogs. But that a never happened with Scout. She was always our baby. And now we miss her every day.

She gave us so much to remember her by but I like to think we gave her lots in return. Like not growing up owned by old people with a stupid name like Meadow.

***

He’s Really Gone Now…

Not like that time years ago back in Cleveland when he disappeared during a frosty, snow-blanketed February pre-dawn run in Forest Hills Park with me and his sister Scout. When I finally found him, he came out of the woods covered in blood and whining in pain. According to the vet, a larger animal, perhaps a coyote, had grabbed him first by the butt, flipped him over and tried to rip his throat out.

But he made it out of the coyote’s jaws of death and back to us. In the waiting room at the vet’s office, Becky said she could feel the rhythmic movement of air on her lower leg. It was coming from the holes in Jake’s throat when he exhaled. The vet had to keep him overnight and offered no guarantee of survival. He came back to 100% eventually, although his bark was forever raspy where the coyote got him in the voicebox. I like to think that coyote has a few scars to remember him by as well.

Nor is this like the time he got lost in the woods behind our house in Pepper Pike. He loved to chase deer and there were plenty to chase in those woods. But he always found his way back – breathless and still thrilled from the effort. But this time he had gotten turned around and didn’t come when called. Our family was in a panic. I took to the woods while Becky and the boys took to the streets in our minivan. I trudged through the woods yelling “Jake!” at the top of my lungs.

People came out of their comfortable homes to peer into the darkness at the shouting madman in the woods. A woman asked me what I was doing. “Looking for my damn dog!” I replied to her disdain. We found him after a few hours in a development a few blocks away from ours. He ran over to me crouched low to the ground with his ears back like he was feeling guilty. I scooped him up and called the family. Daddy was a big hero, the star of the big reunion.

He wasn’t gone very long at all the time he swallowed a ball and collapsed from lack of oxygen when it blocked his throat. Becky had carried him to the car and gone back in to retrieve her phone when one of our boys yelled, “He spit it out! He’s breathing now!” It was just a few seconds that time but it seemed so much longer.

And it’s not the same as when he wandered off after we relocated to Taiwan. By that point at 16 years of age he was pretty much deaf and couldn’t see very well either. It had gotten dark and we were worried he might get hit by a car or fall into a ditch. So Becky took the boys and I went on around our Taipei neighborhood on my scooter yelling his name and asking any locals I encountered if they had see a “small white dog” in Chinese (小白狗). Thanks to the microchip under his skin, he was identified and returned to us later that evening for yet another tearful reunion.

Then he disappeared once after we moved into our new home in Taipei. It was maybe half an hour before one of us asked, “Where’s Jake?” And not five minutes later he strolled onto the back patio dripping wet and shivering. We had let him out into the front yard to do his business and he must have gone through the fence slats (getting skinnier as he got older) and fallen in the pool. We don’t know how that 17 year old blind deaf dog ever found his way to the steps at the far end of the pool all we know is we’re glad he did.

Jake was the best running buddy anyone training for a marathon could ever have. He and his sister would jump up even from a deep slumber, trembling with the possibility to get out and run. The two dogs were really our first children as Jake was already 5 years old when Griffin was born. And Jake was obsessed with catching a Frisbee. I would throw it as hard and as far as I could but he would always catch up to it and leap into the air – sometimes turning somersaults in the process – to make the catch. A passerby walking in the park once remarked, “I wish the Cleveland Browns had a receiver like that.” He was equally obsessed with fetching sticks from any pond or lake no matter how cold it was at the time.

But our loving Jake had a temper too. He never failed to growl under his breath when following directions he didn’t agree with. I have three scars on my hands from disciplinary run-ins with Jake. Now I cherish those scars as part of his memory. Jake has left us to chase that big frisbee in the sky – his final departure after all those threatened in the last 17 years.

Scout, his sister is still with us. Arthritic, mostly blind and deaf and occasionally incontinent. We clean up her accidents, carry her up and down the stairs, snuggle with her in spite of her rancid breath and tell her everyday how much we love our sweet little girl. Just like we still love Jake.

It doesn’t matter that he’s really gone now…

–theklarsafar

Catching Up Part 4: The Tip of the Upside Down Banana

Now that it’s March of 2016, you’re probably asking yourself, “What did the Klars get up to during Spring Break 2015,” Right? No? Well, in case you’re interested, here’s what we did.

We drove down to Kenting. This is what the kids and adults in our family refer to as “the tip of the upside down banana” which is what the island of Taiwan looks like.

Becky’s colleague Bridget and her son Aiden – pals with Klar Boy Griff joined us on the trip. Three adults and three kids driving 5.5 hours down Taiwan’s most  populous coast. Turns out that a highway is a highway even if the signs are in Chinese and you can’t read most of them. Dad did all of the driving because, let’s face it, that’s what Dads do – especially since it means you can ignore the children and have people hand you beverages and sandwiches and such.

We stayed at a place called Smokey Joe’s which was very comfortable. Close to the beach and featuring a nice little courtyard pool area where after family days on the beach, the adults could relax with refreshments while the kids burned off their extra energy in the pool.Smokey Joe's Kending

Not only is the beach right around the corner but the Kenting Street market is right outside the front door. One of the things you can eat there is fried milk. Really.

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We drove around the area in our minivan to different beaches and visited an eternal flame fed by natural methane deposits.  Turns out this is also near a Taiwan Military artillery range where they happened to be practicing while we were there so the family was treated to shells flying over our heads and exploding somewhere “over there” which seemed pretty close and far enough away at the same time.

 

One day we drove around the tip of the banana and saw a rock shaped like the partially submerged head of Richard Nixon gazing at mainland China.

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Check out the family fun on the beach…

All in all it was a great week on the beach and a good time was had by all.

We welcome your comments and suggestions and please remember we love and miss all of you. And there is always room in our home for any friends who come to visit us here in Taiwan. Until we see you again, remember to take care of yourself because “The Wild Dog Haunts.”

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–theklarsafar

Catching Up Part 3: Chinese New Year

This post is part of an ongoing effort to catch you all up on what the Klars Afar have been up to here in Taiwan. This entry details Chinese New Year 2015.

In America, the biggest holiday season is Christmas or Hannukah or Kwanza or whatever it is you happen to celebrate. In Taiwan and China it’s Chinese New Year or Spring Festival 春節. It happens in February and everybody takes up to two weeks off and there are many traditional activities enjoyed by all – like fireworks (oh God did I ever get tired of hearing firecrackers and bottle rockets – it never seems to stop during the entire period), eating traditional foods and launching lanterns bearing your wish for the coming year.

The one most enjoyed by Griffin and Bodhi was the giving of red envelopes bearing cash to children. As you can see, they got very excited.

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Oh Yeah! We got the cash money now!

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Bodhi thought it would be nice to share his red envelope with Flat Parker, a friend we received in the mail from America.

Many of the people in Taipei travel during the break, either to their home village elsewhere in Taiwan or take a vacation so at times the city seems deserted. Since we’re newcomers here, the Klars decided to see some of the sights the Magic Rock has to offer close to our home.

On the north coast of the island is the Yehliu Geologic Park. It’s a very beautiful collection of intriguing rock formations jutting out northward and was formed as geological forces pushed Datun Mountain out of the sea. We took the kids and dogs there to check it out. Take a look!

 

Yet another custom we particularly enjoyed is the sky lanterns. In the early 19th century the Lantern Festival was brought to Taiwan, where every year, at the beginning of the spring planting season, people would release sky lanterns into the air as a prayer for the coming year. You write your wish on the lantern, light the fire beneath it and send your wish off to the heavens. We went on a trip organized by Taipei American School to a Pingxi Lantern Festival – a beautiful village in the forested mountains south of Tapei where every 20-30 minutes hundreds of Taiwanese launch their wish lanterns in waves.

Becky wished for more fun in Taiwan. Griffin wished for “Halo 5 sooner”. I wished for career progress (a job). And Bodhi wished to be “super tough” and drew a stick figure with biceps as a visual aid.

The next morning, Bodhi was very sad. He thought his wish hadn’t come true because he woke up with no biceps. “I’m still skinny!” he cried. I explained that you could be skinny and still be super tough. So I showed him some Bruce Lee videos on youtube and he was mesmerised. Now he has a new hero – another little skinny guy who kicks major butt like he does in his Kung Fu classes.

Well, that’s it for this installment. Two more to come before New Year – Spring Break and Summer Vacation. Don’t forget that we love and miss you all. And there’s always room in our home for any of our friends who wish to visit Taiwan.

–theklarsafar.

 

Catching Up Part 2: Hiking Seven Star Mountain

During the holiday break, we hiked up Qixingshan (Seven Star Mountain) in Yangmingshan National Park (right behind our apartment). We went with our friends Paul Jacob, Amanda Jacob and their son Theo and of course we dragged our little dogs along too. Both Jake and Scout are getting on in years (15 & 14 respectively) but they hate to be left behind and luckily they are small enough to carry when they get tired or the terrain gets too rough. It was a beautiful day for a hike – with clear skys, pleasant temperatures and breathtaking views of the city of Taipei as well as the surrounding mountain-studded landscape. We loaded the kids, dogs and hiking supplies in our two vehicles and headed for the trailhead.

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Qixingshan in Yangmingshan National Park.

Qixingshan is located in the Datun Volcano Group and is the highest peak in Taipei, at the rim of the Taipei Basin and is also the highest dormant volcano in Taiwan. Thousands of years ago the Datun Volcano Group erupted and spewed huge amounts of lava that flowed to the north and became the foundation of Taiwan’s rocky north coast.

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Qixingshan Trailhead

A wonderful day in the fresh mountain air for everyone. At the top we enjoyed packed lunch and of course a bottle of wine. Scout and Jake were the favourites of the other hikers at the top and even managed to beg some treats.

Thanks for keeping up with the Klars Afar. Remember we love and miss you all and we always have room in our home for friends to visit us in Taipei

–TheKlarsAfar

 

Catching Up Part 1: Featuring a Giant Stone Phallus

It’s been months since a post and the last one was far from current. So as the title says, I’ve got some catching up to do. This first instalment is from our visit to Sun Moon Lake. While we were there, we rode the sky gondola over the mountains to the Formosan Aboriginal Culture Village. This was both a shameless commercial venture AND an education on the different tribes of Aborigines – of which the Taiwan Govt. recognises 16. The shameless commercial side was an amusement park complete with overpriced, crummy food and a selection of rides. The educational part was a great walking path leading through life-sized villages of many of the tribes.

I promise to get current by New Year’s – either Chinese or Western. Until the next instalment, please remember that we love and miss you all. And there’s always a spare room for you here in Taipei. Here is your token video of a fish frenzy

–theklarsafar

Beheaded by the Green Dragon Crescent Blade

While we were visiting the newly named Sun HOON Lake over the New Year’s break, we made sure to stop at WenWu Temple. While our children were more interested in sitting in our car playing on their electronic gadgets (even though we dragged them halfway around the world to expose them to stuff like this), Becky and I had a wonderful time strolling the grounds and taking lotsa pics.

A WenWu temple is unique and slightly rare in China and Taiwan because it venerates both a civil saint – Confucius – and a martial saint – Guan Yu – and there are sections of the temple dedicated to each. I, of course, was mostly interested in the martial aspect and approached the statue of Guan Yu outside the entrance where he is depicted wielding his signature weapon, the Green Dragon Crescent Blade. He proceeded to cut my head off as seen in this entry’s main image. But don’t worry, Confucius was able to reattach it. Once I had my head on straight, I was able to take and share with you the following photographs.